Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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