did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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