never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize