Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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