nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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