I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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