so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
