do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
