the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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