You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
