cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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