Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Randomize
