Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
