we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize