Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
