i jhust puked up my retainher.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
