Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on

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(801): View more from Utah

Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now

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(315): View more from New York

And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.

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(914): View more from New York

I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.

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(303): View more from Colorado

theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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(775): View more from Nevada

My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.

(571): View more from Virginia

Get fucked.

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