I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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