where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
