you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
