Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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