I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
