she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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