You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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