yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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