you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
