I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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