the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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