new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
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