what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
