Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
This show inspires me to have sex in space
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
