dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
