You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
