Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
