shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize