Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
