I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Me too!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
