Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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