Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
