Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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