p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
