And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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