I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
