Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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