Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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