Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
