ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Found the puke drawer
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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