you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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