they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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