Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
