is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
