Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
