you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
