I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I want to be your penis for a week.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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