what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
