I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The adults are the big ones right?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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