Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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