He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
