Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
youre lurking in front of me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just made my gag reflex go away.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
