so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
