Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
